


tumblr prompts

by amczingphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt, tags at beginning of each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 21:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amczingphil/pseuds/amczingphil
Summary: a series of my favourite prompts from tumblr, warnings at the beginning of each chapter.send prompts on tumblr@philscurls





	1. One

_**Prompt:**_ “Somehow I can never compare the stars with your eyes.”

 _ **Warnings:**_ this is actually really freaking sad

* * *

 

It was never going to end well, Dan could have predicted that from the very beginning. They were just too different, and sometimes that was a good thing for couples but for them it just made everything so much more challenging.

It was your typical whirlwind romance, everything was so bright and vibrant. It was the kind of love that crashed through reality like a tornado, feeding itself on the lives around it and not caring about the destruction it left in its wake.

Phil had been someone new and interesting, the boy who was at university to study plants while Dan was there to fail at studying law and creep out at three in the morning to watch the way the stars glittered knowingly, as if rubbing it in that he would never know the secrets they concealed.

Dan had met Phil at three in the morning, that should have been an indicator as to how it would end. Phil was in Dan’s spot, clipping samples of plants to run tests on or something, Dan didn’t know, what could be learned from a thing that was everywhere? They should be focusing on the stars, they contained the true knowledge.

Dan had never told Phil that, he may not have understood his fascination with the Earth, but he wasn’t an asshole. It was still one of the reasons why they weren’t built to last, Dan wanted to teach Phil about the stars, he wanted to share his love and inspire someone else to see what he saw, but he didn’t want to learn about the Earth.

Phil would talk passionately about the Earth, his eyes would glitter as though the sun was reflecting on a beautiful Caribbean Sea and his hands would fly through the air to emphasise the points that he was making, and it was beautiful.

Phil was beautiful.

Maybe the words he said were too, but Dan wasn’t interested. He just couldn’t understand why such an amazingly intelligent person was consumed by things that seemed so mundane. It wasn’t just Dan either, Phil didn’t care about the stars. Dan would notice the way that his gaze would wander and trace the treeline as Dan pointed out various constellations and rabbited on about the mechanics of space.

They were engrossed in each other but they didn’t care about the other’s passions.

“Somehow I can never compare the stars with your eyes.” Dan whispered one night.

That had been the night that Phil told Dan that he loved him and Dan had said it back, because a feeling that intense had to be love. There was no other way to describe it, Phil made his heart race and he made him feel safe but at the same time.

Dan felt guilty however, because even though telling Phil that he could never compare his eyes to the stars sounded like a compliment, it wasn’t one.

Phil’s eyes were beautiful oceans and bright summer days, they had a glint of gold like a corn field gently swaying in the sun and flashes of green like soft grass that you could run your fingers through while lying on your back.

They were stunning, but they weren’t the stars.

Dan couldn’t find the stars anywhere in Phil’s eyes no matter how hard he tried, and it hurt. It hurt that when their gazes would meet after a gentle kiss that had Dan’s head spinning and lips curving into a smile, he would look into Phil’s eyes and feel lost in a world that wasn’t his.

When Phil would surprise him after class with a coffee and a hug, Dan would look into the eyes of a guy that was down to Earth. That was what most people wanted, wasn’t it? So why was it that Dan felt as though he needed someone who had their head in the stars.

It wasn’t a surprise when Phil broke up with him. It hurt, but it was expected.

“You’re just never present, Dan, I love you but I feel like I’m holding you back. Your mind isn’t even on this planet half of the time and I wonder whether us being together is a good thing or a bad thing. You need someone to fuel your adventures and I’ll I’m doing is tethering you to Earth.”

It had been freeing at first.

Dan was single.

He dropped out of university.

He followed his dreams.

It was too late though, Phil had changed him. He remembered believing that Phil was on a completely different level to the stars but when he looked up at them every night since their split, he realised how wrong he had been.

Every little twinkle reminded him of the way that Phil’s eyes would shine when he introduced Dan to his newest houseplant. Shooting stars made him remember the way that Phil raced over to him one evening waving a piece of paper that sported an impressive ‘A’ in his most difficult class.

Dan would go out in the evening to look at the stars but instead he would lie on his back and let his hands run through the grass as he thought about Phil, where was he? Was he happy? Was he collecting his plant samples?

Now that Dan was actually paying attention, the world was beautiful. Trees were tall and powerful, flowers were delicate and pretty. The way that they grew was amazing and Dan found himself spending more and more time thinking about it.

He wished that he had actually paid attention back when Phil was telling Dan about his love for the Earth, but it was too late.

He still had Phil’s old number, he could call it and explain his epiphany, he could ask questions that he needed Phil to answer, he could apologise for never listening when they were together.

He called Phil.

There was no answer, the number had been disconnected.

He was too late, and the boy who had set him free so that he could explore the universe had unknowingly grounded him.


	2. Two

**Prompt:** “You know why?! It’s because I’m fucking in love with you!”

**Warnings:** this is another hella sad one pals

**Tags:** unrequited love

* * *

 

It had been a long time coming. Life wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t a romance novel in which the couple hit a bumpy road but resolved everything in the end, it wasn’t a soppy movie that was going to end in a passionate embrace and a tantalising kiss. It was cold hard reality, it was falling hard and landing on a concrete path, it was going in for the shot, swinging and missing. Life was harsh and Phil had known that, so really the way things had ended shouldn’t have surprised him. He had surrounded himself with positivity and vibrancy for so long and it was always inevitable that it would have to come to an end.

He wasn’t blind, he knew how it had looked from the outside, he was fully aware of the implication of two grown men spending eight years living together. He had read all the theories and the odd work of fiction about himself and Dan, he had seen the screenshots and the edits that were made. Heart eyes Howell they had called Dan, and Phil had just shrugged it off at first, he had known that they were reading too far into something that was never going to happen.

It had been amusing at first, they had laughed it off together, Phil just wished that he had noticed how fake Dan’s laugh had sounded and how his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Maybe if he had then things would have ended differently.

Phil was sitting alone in the lounge, it looked bigger and blander than it ever had. The last time he had seen so much empty space was before they had even moved in.  

It was strange, he was so used to seeing their clutter spread across every surface, filling the empty holes and creating an accurate portrayal of their lives together. He didn’t realise how much they fit together, how Dan filled the gaps that Phil left behind and how Phil melded seamlessly into the parts of Dan’s life that were empty.

It was easy. They didn’t need to talk about it, they were just themselves with each other and they hadn’t needed to be anything more.

Phil had watched all the little trinkets that had made their house a home slowly disappear into boxes over the past month, leaving behind clear marks in the thin layer of dust on their – _his_ – bookshelves.

 Eventually he was left with a flat that felt bare and a stack of boxes in the hallway awaited collection later on in the day. It was strange how their time together boiled down to a stack of boxes and a bland apartment. It was a reminder of how transient everything in life truly was, nothing was built to last, in the end it always broke down and left people on their own, wondering where things had gone wrong.

Except Phil knew exactly where things had gone wrong, he didn’t even want to remember that day, it was a dark blip that had mutated and spread through every day since then. Darkening drastically on that one Tuesday.

“I’m moving out, I’ve found a place just on the outskirts of London, it’ll be ready in about a month,” Dan had said, his gaze focused over Phil’s shoulder as he tried not to think about what was happening, “I’m going to stay with my parents until then.”

Phil hadn’t said anything at first, there was so much that he needed to say, but it was too much and no words would come out. He wanted to tell Dan not to be so silly, they could work through this, like they usually did when they had problems. It would be alright in the end. He wanted to say that he was sorry, even though he knew that there was no point apologising for something that he couldn’t control and that the apology wouldn’t fix anything.

He wanted to know what was going to happen to their gaming channel, would DanAndPhilGAMES survive this move? If not, what then? Would they make a goodbye video? Or would they just leave the channel abandoned and let their viewers deduce whatever they wanted from that?

Their viewers would notice that Dan had moved out once they saw his new backgrounds in his videos. What would they say? Would they be interested in the new place and excited for the future or would they be like Phil who was already missing their time together and wondering if there was any way that they could fix things.

Finally, the day arrived for Dan to pick up his final boxes, it awkward and uncomfortable. Phil hated it, he had never felt that way around Dan before, there had always been an easiness between them, even when they were silent it was comfortable and relaxed, but that was all gone. It was almost as if they didn’t know each other anymore.

“That’s everything,” Dan said finally.

“Yeah,”

“Just this to give back to you,” a silver key was placed in Phil’s hand, warm against his palm from sitting in Dan’s pocket.

“You could keep this you know? In case you ever want to pop in again.” Even as the words left his mouth he knew that they would be rejected instantly, Dan hadn’t visited much in the last month other than those few times that he had come to pack up his stuff.

“No, it wouldn’t feel right, it’s yours.” Dan said quietly.

“Will you visit?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know if that would be a good idea,”

“Why not?”

“You know why,” Dan said, his voice rising a few decibels, the raw pain causing Phil to flinch back, “it’s because I’m fucking in love with you!”

Phil paused, unable to think of a reply, he knew that Dan was in love with him as Dan had confessed his feelings a short while ago. Phil just didn’t feel the same way, Dan was his best friend, he wasn’t a romantic interest. They just never managed to get passed that.

“All the best, Phil, I love you.” Dan muttered as he turned and walked out of the door for the final time.

The key in Phil’s hand felt like it was burning him, he threw it on the table where it clattered obnoxiously before lying still. Mocking him.

The year after their departure passed gradually, Phil slowly patched up the gaps that Dan had left with more random clutter and bizarre posters. He would proudly show them off in his live shows, ignoring all the questions about Dan. Everyone wanted to know what had happened, but Phil couldn’t tell them, not when he knew that Dan was watching his shows.

Eventually though, Dan stopped tuning in whenever Phil went live and after that the weekly live shows became fortnightly and then monthly before stopping altogether. He couldn’t maintain the cheer for the entire forty minutes and people were noticing.

The gaming room was left almost exactly as it had been before Dan had left, the only changes were that Dan had taken his computer and DDR pad. Phil didn’t go in there anymore.

Dan’s room was completely empty, a cold and barren room. Phil kept the door closed, sometimes he went back in there and remembered all the good times that they had had together, he wondered what it would have been like if he had returned Dan’s feelings, would they have combined their belongings into one room? Would the place still be bright and filled with laughter? It was cold and colourless now.

There was never another gaming video, Phil watched as the subscriber count rose to four million, he wanted to ask them why? Why subscribe to a dead account? The comments on almost every video were asking what had happened, why wasn’t there another video?

They had closed down their online shop and cancelled all convention plans for the future, they notified other YouTubers that collabs wouldn’t be going ahead and apologised for the inconvenience.

One of the biggest hits to Phil had been Dan’s disappearance from the internet. He had stopped uploading to YouTube, he no longer posted on Instagram and he didn’t tweet anymore. People kept asking him whether Dan was ok, what had happened between them and whether he was coming back at any point.

Phil didn’t know, but Dan was still being slightly active on his personal Facebook page so he was reassured that he was essentially alright.

Whenever Phil would leave the flat he would walk passed the table where Dan’s key lay. It was coated with dust now. He missed Dan.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its 2009 and the sun meets the moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: very brief hints at depression, nothing concrete.  
> AN: this is unedited, it’s just a kind of analysis of 2009 phan from my perspective i guess, it’s mostly a fufflyish oneshot
> 
> not actually a prompt but i wanted to add it

Phil was moonlight; he was the beautiful pale light that broke through the darkness and lit up the world with an ethereal glow, but no one ever saw it because when the moon came out to shine the world went to sleep. 

Dan was sunlight, he was the bright and fierce light that forced it’s way in the world and shone brightly, occasionally muffled by the clouds that didn’t want him to show his true potential. Being the sun was tiring and at the end of the day Dan’s light burned out and fizzled. He would spend so much of his day pretending to be ok and pretending to be bright and bubbly, so by night time he was left with nothing for himself. 

It didn’t bother Dan though because he saw the moonlight, he saw the  the brightness that not many people appreciated and in his loneliness he reached out. He didn’t have any hope that he would make any difference, after all, he had shone so brightly through the day and no one had really cared, so why would this beautiful boy on the internet be any different. Still though, Dan tried with a simple comment on a wonderfully creative video.

He felt like an idiot for even thinking of posting it, Phil would never see it or react to it, he was just being stupid. He was turning into a fangirl of a guy who probably didn’t even know his name, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. 

It became a routine; Phil would upload a video and Dan would make a supportive comment, slowly getting more and more confident in what he was saying. Who cared if he complimented Phil’s eyes? No one was reading the comments anyway. It hurt Dan to see all the hate that was poured into the comments section by people who either didn’t understand or didn’t care enough to realise they were talking to a real person and Dan hoped that Phil ignored those comments just like he ignored Dan’s. 

Dan even created a twitter account just for the purpose of following Phil and replying to him in the hopes that his internet idol would someday acknowledge his existence. 

It happened on one of Dan’s dull nights. He had tried so hard that day to be as bright as possible, trying to use everything within himself to block out the ever looming darkness but he was blocked by the clouds almost every step of the way and he had returned home to sit in his room with the curtains pulled and the lights off. He wasn’t even going to bother checking his laptop and he turned his phone off, choosing instead to lie in the darkness, fully clothed, and he stared blankly at the ceiling. 

It was moments like those when he seriously wondered what the point was, why was he alive? He wasn’t contributing anything to the world, he was merely existing but existing wasn’t living and he didn’t know how to live. He suspected that living involved being able to shine unashamedly without letting anything block you out or darken you, but how was that possible?

Dan joked to himself that he had a dark soul, but at night when he was lying in bed he really started believing that maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn’t a joke. Maybe he was going to constantly feel the crushing despair in his chest for the rest of his life and if that was true then he was scared. He didn’t know if he could handle feeling that way forever. 

So Dan lay there in the darkness, feeling numb, until a small slither of moonlight snuck in through the gap he’d left between the curtains and fell across his face. It was a nice light, it wasn’t like the sunlight that made people wince and look away from the harsh brightness,  it was soothing and it made Dan feel like he wasn’t alone for a moment. 

So instead of getting up to close the curtains, he left them slightly open and fell asleep with the moonlight brightening his room and keeping away the darkness. 

Dan woke up late the next morning and instead of the gentle soothing moonlight, he was blinded by the brightness of the sun. He rolled over for a second, covering his eyes as he came to himself and then threw back the covers. 

It was the weekend and he had nowhere to be so he took his time making his breakfast. The sink was piled to the brim with dishes and he couldn’t be bothered to wash a bowl so he made his cereal in a cup and took it to his room to boot up his laptop. 

He couldn’t wait for a day when computers would start up in less than five minutes. 

Dan was shoving another spoonful of cereal down his throat when YouTube finally loaded and a notification popped up. He would never admit to anyone that he choked on his cereal, he was coughing and spluttering as he tried to read the reply from Phil through watering eyes. Dan would later look back and remember that his life changed that day as he coughed rice krispies all over the screen of his laptop. 

Weeks passed and Phil was slowly replying to Dan more and more often, both on YouTube and on Twitter. Every time it happened Dan felt his heart swell up and begin to race and he typed out a further reply with shaking hands. 

It finally happened. Dan was messaging Phil  _ privately.  _ They had so much in common and the conversation just seemed to flow, there was never a quiet moment or a pause when neither of them had anything to say and Dan found himself staying up till four in the morning just to make sure that he wasn’t missing a message from Phil. 

They were beginning to grow closer and they would reply to each other’s tweets on twitter all the time, Dan would feel warm with every interaction and he knew that he was a goner; there was no saving him from falling this time. He was falling and he was falling fast with nothing to slow him down. 

The more Dan learned about Phil, the more he admired him and he knew that he was slowly falling in love with the beautiful boy who wasn’t afraid to be himself even when the world was ridiculing him and trying to dampen out his brightness. 

Dan thought Phil was the strongest person that he had ever spoken to, he read the hate comments, he was hurt by them, but he moved on and continued to do what he loved because he knew that there were a few other people who also loved his videos. 

The messages soon turned into four hour long skype calls that made Dan feel as though he was actually in the room with Phil and it occasionally hit him that he was talking to AmazingPhil. His favourite YouTuber, the person that he admired. Dan was actually talking to him and Phil was such a genuinely nice person and he actually made Dan laugh, but what was even better was that Dan could make him laugh too. AmazingPhil had turned into Phil, Dan’s best friend and the person that he was developing serious feelings for

Phil’s laugh was beautiful, he would embrace his happiness with every fibre of his being and throw his head back as he laughed, his tongue would poke out through his teeth and Dan couldn’t say it out loud, but he thought that it was the most adorable thing that he had ever seen. He was able to make Phil laugh like that.  Even if that was the only thing he achieved in life, then he was happy. 

The first time that meeting up in person was mentioned, Dan felt his heart begin to race. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to scream yes, but he was scared because what if he was too much? Dan knew that he could get over excited sometimes and come on too strong, but he couldn’t help it, he was just so desperate for the approval of people. 

Eventually they both agreed and before they knew it Dan was on the train to meet Phil. He spent the entire ride there feeling the butterflies diving and swooping about in his stomach and when the trolley man offered him a drink he just shook his head, unable to speak from the nerves. Were they doing the right thing? What if this was the thing that killed their friendship, what if Phil decided that Dan was too young, too immature? 

Would Dan be lying in his bed a week from then, in complete darkness wishing that he had never gotten on that train, or would he be wishing that he was still with Phil? It was such a huge gamble for them to take and Dan was wishing and praying to anything that would listen, that he wouldn’t regret the trip. 

He climbed off the train with shaking legs, he was about to meet the person who had inspired him to post his own YouTube video, the person who he had spoken with every day for months, the person who he actually flirted with and had texted ‘I love you’ to. 

It turned out he had nothing to worry about. 

The moment they saw each other, they made their way forward, Dan’s knees were shaking and he couldn’t believe that Phil was right there in front of him. He wanted to pause for a moment to take him in but he couldn’t stop himself from stepping into Phil’s arms, they were warm and held him tight just like Dan had always dreamed they would. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes but he refused to let them fall, he needed to stay strong in front of Phil. 

It was strange for Dan, he had spent his entire life trying his hardest to fit in and conform as to not attract unwanted attention, but as he stood there in the middle of the busy train station, he realised that he didn’t care what people thought, he didn’t care who was staring because as far as he was concerned he was happy to be seen with Phil. He was proud. 

Phil took dan to Starbucks and they found a booth in the corner where they hid away from the hustle and bustle of city life just so that they could talk  about anything and everything together. It was amazing, Dan felt at home by Phil’s side and as he listened to him talk about future video ideas and his family, Dan realised that he wanted to be in Phil’s future. He wanted to walk beside him the entire way, preferably holding his hand. 

They made an impromptu stop at the Apple store to take their first ever selfie together and Dan knew that he would be printing it out when he was home, he wanted to keep that picture forever.  He didn’t care that they were getting strange looks as they posed, he didn’t even care that one of the employees was frowning in disapproval, he just uploaded the picture to his dailybooth and smiled at Phil with the joy of a person who had found their place in life. 

The day ended with a trip to the skybar and as Dan watched the sun slowly set beside Phil he realised that maybe his light wasn’t being snuffed out that night, he was stepping back so Phil could shine, and that was a much nicer way to think of it and he wasn’t the only one who saw Phil’s beauty anymore, but Phil only seemed to care about Dan’s opinion and that made Dan feel like the luckiest person in the world. 

“I love you.” Dan whispered, breaking the comfortable silence. 

“I love you too.” Phil answered and those four words were the sweetest words that Dan had ever heard.

Phil was the moon and Dan was the sun. The sun and the moon were in love and  they both shone brightly in their own ways, sometimes they would be dulled by the people around them, but all that mattered was that they saw each other’s beauty and helped one another to shine as brightly as possible. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! come visit me on tumblr @philscurls :) i hope you have a lovely day
> 
>  
> 
> [Buy Me a Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A108414A)


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